Wednesday, October 29 21:54
" you 're really good in running " - Yan
" i know " - me.
" you 're so good at it that you run away from everything " -yan
" what you mean " - me.
" yknw, running away from your feelings " - Yan
" i wanna see how far you can run from your heart " - Yan

Monday, October 27 21:32
i know exactly why leesya made that promise with me.
i know exactly why.
its for time like this when i need her the most.
i know why we had our own handshakes.
i know why she hugged and kissed my forehead when it rains.
i know why she's always being honest with me.
i know why she reminded me of my friends even if i dont favour them.
i know why she reminded me to b happy always.
i know why she wanted to see my last smile.
i know why she pretended to sleep when i visited her.
i know why she didnt want to cry infront of me.
i know why she treasured so many people and so many things.
i know why she wanted me to follow her footsteps.
i know why she made me promise her that whatever happens, i'll have faith in myself.
i now know why. exactly why.

i have so many what ifs.
but to keep it short, i'll ask,
what if one day, everyone i love had to leave ?

i love Didi,
i love Leesya,
i love Ein,
i love Shya,
i love Nad-dy,
i love Andy
i love Sarah.

leesya ever said " dont stick to a friend, you might need the rest of your friends one day"
i know why now.
exactly why.

Md Quraisyidin,
i love you and you're all that matters now.
i thank you for the joy and laughter.
you're there when i need you.
my day can never go well without you going through morning with me.
with you by my side, i dont have to worry about anything else.
you created my past 8 months, and im waiting for the future with you by my side.
you're my wish that came true. i love you so much that i've never thought of letting you go.
never ever baby. never.

from the bottom of my heart, i love you.

Saturday, October 25 17:29
this post isnt about what i want or what i need.
this post is about what i feel.

so i broke down over the same thing again.
im waiting for leesy's return.
her presense is all im hoping for .
ive got so many stories to tell, but to who?

Ein?
Its really hard for us to stay in touch.
and we have serious catching up to do.
and i know its hard for us to do so. D:
And Didi ?
Didi clearly said that he prior his friends before me so his friends are way more impt.
so who's gonna be there for me now?
exactly, no one.


ps: it feels like you're a million miles away.

Thursday, October 23 19:07
he texted " whenever im alone, my heart starts to ache. want to know why? its because i miss you dearly. Whenever your body embraces mine,my heart beats faster and happier because i know you will never leave me.When your hands interlocked with mine, my heart skips a bit knowing that you are always there to accompany me through my troubles. when ever you say i love you to me,i melted because no one could say it more sweeter. When gaze into your eyes, i finally discovered that the most beautiful gems are hidden in your eyes. What more could i say about you ? You are my perfect babygirl i've been searching for. Remember , you are not fully dressed until you wear a smile. I love you so much Nurfaizah Osman. "

Wednesday, October 22 20:40





I've been spending alot of my time with Didi lately (:
Leesya's presence is all im hoping for.
but i know she'll never come back.
Didi really helped me get back on my feets.
although at times i feel the urge of crying,
but i know that whatever that's gonna happen, Didi will always be there for me(:
Didi knows me best and whatever im going through.
And sometimes, im surprised that he knows more about me than myself.
And he said he's not gonna marry me unless i know how to cook.
I'll start laughing at his statement whenever its in my head.
Sometimes, the unfunniest things on earth is the funniest thing for me.
(eg. when he's angry; he looks cute and funny :DD)

it rained today, and Didi gave me a hug & a kiss on the forehead.
i wasnt expecting any hugs or a kiss from him cause i was busy whining about dad not fetching me.
dad didnt pick me up from school, so i had to take the public transport.
my mom said im being " ngada-ngada " because i've been lazy to travel using the public transport since dad fetch me up from school.
(mom's jealous bytheway)

pfft.
its the wednesday anyway, i dont question why it happen today.
cs wednesday is always a bad day for me.
hahhh.

okgo.

Monday, October 20 20:17
i deleted the previous post.it was posted today actually.
i dont want anyone to know whats up.
and i dont want any sympathy from the readers. ( by tagboard reply)

i had a full one hour talk with fir.
its a " her ", her full name is NurSyawafirah.
people in campus call her fir anyway.
so,fir is leesy's gym partner.
she really had me back on my feets with those encouragements.
thankks. talking to someone who's really close to leesy really made me feel better.
cause she knows what im going through.

after talking to fir,
bby text me. and i gave him a call. haha.
had another hour of talk with bby.
he really made me feel better .
my bby has been cheering me up since like .. saturday (?)
yea, despite my stubborness, he didnt give up on cheering me up.
i know i think he doenst understand what im going through.
but i realised that he understand me the most.
by the way he interlock his fingers with mine,
it just tells me that he's gonna be there and im gonna be fine.
like i say, with everyday that goes by, something about him makes me love him even more.
and today, he made me feel lucky.
im lucky to have him (:
i love Md Quraisyidin.

and bytheway bby, dont worry if a guy comes up to me and starts talking to me in a flirty way.
you wanna know why ? cause no matter how hard the guy tries to steal my heart, he wont get any, cause its obvious that he doesnt have what you have. my heart(:
he doesnt have my heart. and you wanna know something else, i love you and i dont bother about anyone else. you've tried testing me didnt you. doesnt it proove to you?

okey, back to blogging.
so today wasnt like any other day whereby i go to sch with a big smile on my face.
this time, i really cant smile .
everytime i lift a smile, a frown followed up.
Mrs Chiam had to ask whats wrong,
Ms Tan had to look at me 3 times and then come up to me and ask whats wrong.
and Ms Prema asked if im ok cause she caught me with teary eyes.
well, thankyou teachers for the motivation.
daymn im so touched.

i know im not myself lately, but i'll get back to my feets really soon.
i cant promise, but i'll try.
cause leesy always says " have faith "


ps; leesy, wherever you are, just know i love you.
i never get to say this to you, and thats why i've been breaking down.
i want to be there for you. hold you tight to me before you take your last breath.
but i know, you'll come back. i know you wont leave me.
i know you love me . thats why i need you to know that i love you too, so so much.

Saturday, October 18 21:43

some typos in this video.
made by dian.





You know someone's your friend when you have a big smile on your face and they still know something's wrong.
Friend,
A simple word isn't it?
It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable.
Who are your friends?
I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to.
Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your hearts.
You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life,
just because it was with them.
They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with.
They don't judge you or make you change.
They accept you exactly as you are.
They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with.
You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs, and smiles.
You're tied together by love for the other.
Friendship is the strangest but greatest thin in the world.
I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life.


Hilarious days and crazy nights.
Talking about our boys and pillow fights.
Through thick and thin and always true. Where would I be without you?

I guess what I learned from all that is that real friends, the truest of friends, are really those who know all about me and like me anyway. They are the people who no matter how long it has been since I have talked to them or seen them, I can call them no matter the time of day and just pick up where we left off. Like no time has ever passed since our last conversation. People like that are the ones that you feel comfortable with, otherwise you wouldn't be able to do it. They're the people who are really there, no matter what.

Dear leesya,
for lending me your ears, your shoulders, i thank you.
you knew what i needed when i was down and you never miss a day without talking to me.
you're like a sister but sometimes like an enemy, but i love you still.
i treasure each and everyday i had with you even if its for 5 min.
"you rock my shit out and i stone your hip out "
i'll remember that.
you love to sing and every song you sing for me, means everything.

a friend/sister like you is hard to find.
moreover, i dont have to tell you whats up cause you know i need that hugs.

you'e the strongest person i know.
you made sure everyone overcome their fears
and most importantly, you made sure everyone have faith in ourself.

you said earlier " you guys have dont alot for me, and now, do it for yourself, i'll be there watching you"

"i'll be the wind. i'll wipe away every fears yall have. "
" yall might not see me, but i'll make sho my eyes are on yall. "

i love you , leesya.




Wednesday, October 15 00:01
I love you so much it scares me, I've never felt this way with anyone else. An hour after we are apart I still feel your kisses. I still feel oyur arms around my waist and your fingers in twined in mine. It scares me to think that maybe we won't be together forever. I lay at night wishing you were next to me. I love you baby. Please don't ever let go.

I've loved you ever since that night,you took it all,
my everything and so maybe that's why my heart breaks when we fight,


I'd do anything to just hear you say you love me too, cs I love you more with every little thing you do.

someone asked me the other day
"what's so different about him? what makes him so special?"
and I sat for awhile and I thought about all the ways you impress me,
all the reasons why I've fallen so hard for you
you're unbelievably smart,
you have this sense of humor that can make me smile you are adorably cute,
and you're personality is so unique and different from everyone else's
the list continued, however the last and final thought I had was ; it's because he cares.
I have truthfully never been with a guy who cares, the way you do.
The way you take care of me when I cry.
It's the way you look at me with those eyes.
It's the way you make me feel like we aren't right for anyone else.
It's the way you make me feel like I'm the only one that matters.
I know that I will never find what I have with you, with anyone else,
and at this very moment I don't believe that I could be as happy as I am with you,with anyone else
It's the way you hold me, so tight and close.
It's the way you keep me warm with your body on mine.
And it's the way I smile, because I know I could never be happier, than where I am now, with you.

With every moment we share, every smile, every touch,
I become more certain that in you,
I've found something I've looked for a very long time.
I don't know what the future holds, but I do know how much your love excites me and how happy I feel when I'm with you.
And, from this day forward, that's more than enough.

Every time he looks my way I realize how much I adore those pretty eyes.
It's the way that he makes me feel
it's the way that he kisses me
it's the way that he makes me fall in love.

I can't help myself; I don't want anyone
I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.

happy monniversary, i love you.

Saturday, October 11 23:35
if its not for boyf,
i wouldnt have follow.
he used the term " i wanted you to follow " when he text me ok,
mind you girl.
you have a brain, use it well.

anyway,sorry sarah, didnt follow you meet emily.
hahh.
okey, im like extremely tired.
was out since ytd.
im wishing that tonight will be a peaceful night for me.

yesterday was awesome.
HAHAH.
woooshh.
ZAKI, baiiiik uhh.
hahahahahhahhaha. wooosh. sarah, take tissue for me pls.
ahahahahahahahahha

syafiqah : pakcik beli camera ni berapa
pakcik : 1 jer.


hahahahah. get it ?
anyway, naim,eqa and yaya was the loudest among all.
and they're fun people.
suker perh tempat jauh-jauh.
and photo session was funny.
very funny that theres no memory card in it.
AHAHHAHAHHAHAH

i got my fingerscrossed since just now.
hoping for myself noT to get any stomach ache.
well, actually, im having it now.

*fingerscrossed for didi to text me*

didi, sorry i gave that fuckattitude.
seriously, sorry. guess i was exshausted.
shitt.
my stomach so pain.
i probably should lay in bed.
didi ask me to rest anyway.
hahaa.
im lucky to have him... really, serious.

there's something about didi
that makes me love him more and more each day.
and today, the way he stood up for me,
made me hug him 2 times.
i love you

Wednesday, October 8 20:47
everyone can make friends with whoever they want.
unfortunately, i add people who viewed me.
thats how i am in friendster kid.

oh and bytheway, everyone can wear the same brand of shoe,
have the same hair done, and buy the same type of clothings.
you're not the only human on earth.
if you're so unhappy about it, confront me.
cmon, dont be a coward.

oh and yes,dont worry,
my boyfriend knows exactly who im in contact with.
because, those guys are my trackfield buddies.
ooops, too bad i link myself with guys too.

if its the limelight that you want,
you can have it. earn it babe.
before i forget, thanks for putting me in the center of your world

if you're so sick and tired of your life, go get yourself a boyf.
thats what you always wanted right.

01:19


well well,
Sarah is here.
she's being sacarstic since just now -.-
in marsiling, she raised her feets and rest it on my laps.
i thought it was a cat who's up on me.
and she named me palabut sriwangi -.-
HAHAH.

i have no idea what was on her mind.
hahahahaha.
she keeps repeating that she regretted staying overnight at my place.
well, then again,
its because of the low function air-conditioner ;
that i've beeen fingerscrossing for someone to clean up the dirt for me.

currently chatting with bryan,khai,yuen,has,hanif and andy.
HAHAHhhhh.
Sarah is watching step up ... again.
did pedicure with her and met mama nora.
woootzxzxz
saw uncle rafi and he gave that fuckattitude.
wanted to shout at him " dont give that fuckattitute oyye"
hahhhah.

had late dinner at 11.30.
Sarah had her all time favourite nasi goreng cooked by nora.
and i had a bowl of maggi noodles( how pathetic )
wanted to study but theres just soo many distraction
Didi wanted to acc me but i think he feel asleep.
HAHH.
i swear, physics paper was extremely hard.
and tomorrow is chemistry paper, whats worst, i know nothing.

i miss leesya,
and i really had to tell Didi everything.
i cant possibly be the pole of two earthlings
who express everything to me,and make me confuse about eveything right.
well, Didi is my ear and shoulder.
course telling him, made me feel lightened.

well, today's post is quite a long one.
i'll end my post with leesya's saying "i'll be his wind, im forever there for him "

ps; SARAH, DONT CABAR ME YKNW, I FIND IS THEN YKNOW.

Sunday, October 5 18:09
well well.
im booked on this days.
6-13 october : examination week.
14 october : raya with express cliques.
17,18 october : overnight at sarah's crib
24,25,26 october : overnight at sarah's crib
27 october yazid's birthday.

am very busy, so any outing or whatsover,
quick book the dates alright